Achieve the Goals You Truly Want: Stop Chasing Shoulds

How to achieve the goals you actually want, not what you or anyone expects you to achieve, because you should.

Until I was 18 I followed a clear plan: go to school, get good grades, make my family proud.

Then at 18 I was suddenly “free.”

That freedom felt like a chance to choose my own path for the first time in my life.

Well, not entirely.

I followed the route my family and society expected: I went to university.

It never occurred to me then that I might have other options.

So I chose a subject that felt difficult, interesting, and likely to be profitable in the future.

Biochemistry it was.

How to achieve the goals you want, not the ones you think you should

I didn’t really know what biochemistry entailed or what biochemists actually do. I simply enjoyed chemistry at school, and the field sounded like it would secure a good future. There were articles everywhere about shortages of biochemists and biologists, so it seemed like the logical choice. I thought I owed it to my future self and to my parents.

And I hated almost every minute of it.

The lab work, the struggle to balance money and study, the long hours — I disliked the process, even though I’m grateful now for what I learned about biology and the world.

But during that time I didn’t learn much about myself. I convinced myself I was shy and didn’t like people. I believed that things had to be hard to be worthwhile — that if you enjoyed what you did, you weren’t trying hard enough.

In the end I earned a Master’s in a field I never wanted to pursue further and felt lost, like life didn’t make sense.

Life did make sense — I was just afraid to see it.

I had believed that choosing the secure, admired option was what I should do. I thought the harder the path, the more meaningful the result.

Although I’ve mostly moved past that belief, I still catch myself overcomplicating simple things to make them seem worthwhile. I’ve learned, however, that taking the easier path — the one that feels right and enjoyable for you, even if it’s not immediately lucrative — is often the wiser choice.

I’m not suggesting you take shortcuts or chase quick wins that don’t align with your values. But when you create something you truly believe in and enjoy, the reward goes beyond money.

Here are the steps that helped me set goals I actually wanted and achieve them.

How To Achieve What You Actually Want, Not What You Should

1. Open your mind and notice opportunities

To discover what you want, stay curious and open. Opportunities are everywhere if you pay attention.

Starting a blog became one of the most rewarding and therapeutic choices I’ve made. It gave me a space to be myself and to help others.

Seven years ago I wouldn’t have imagined blogging. A friend teased that I should write a recipe book because I loved cooking. I brushed it off as too easy — who needs recipes? Then I searched for a healthy brownie recipe, found a personal food blog with beautiful photos made by a single person, and realized this was something I could and wanted to do. That moment opened my mind to a new possibility.

2. Let yourself do the easy thing

Even after recognizing blogging as an opportunity, it took me three years to start. The idea felt too simple, and I worried it wasn’t special.

When I finally launched, maintaining a blog turned out to be hard work. I learned many skills and grew in ways I didn’t expect. Contrary to my fears, people did care about my writing and kept coming back.

If something feels right and enjoyable, try it. The only way to know if it’s worthwhile is to actually do it.

3. Do things for you, not others

This may sound selfish, but being true to yourself benefits everyone around you. Your loved ones don’t want you to be miserable just to meet their expectations.

For years people questioned why I blogged and thought it was a waste of time. I kept going because I believed in it. Other people will always have opinions, but the only opinion that truly matters is yours.

If others would discourage you at the start, you don’t have to share everything. Build confidence first, then share when you’re ready.

4. Know and remember your why

Understanding why you’re pursuing something should be one of the first steps. If I had known what I wanted five years out, I probably wouldn’t have spent years studying biochemistry.

I wanted to travel, influence people, and have financial stability. Biochemistry didn’t align with those goals — it would have required years of study to reach a level that allowed the kind of freedom I wanted. Blogging, however, offered a way to impact people globally, travel, and grow financially over time. I keep reminding myself of my why to stay motivated.

5. Ask: How will this change you?

When evaluating opportunities I ask: How will this change me? Will it make me happier, more confident, or more skilled?

Working in sales pushed me out of my comfort zone and made me more outgoing and confident with strangers — something I never planned for, but which changed me profoundly. Doing things that scare you can build confidence and uncover strengths you didn’t know you had.

6. Plant, then let go & grow

Once you set a goal, take action and repeat it consistently. Plant the seed, then step back and let it grow instead of constantly trying to force results.

Sometimes you’ll push for something to go viral or succeed overnight, but many outcomes are beyond your control. Do the work, release it, and focus on planting new seeds as well.

7. Enjoy the ride

Not every day will be productive. There are days I don’t feel like doing anything, and that’s normal. Allowing breaks keeps me consistent in the long run.

Treat yourself like a human, not a machine. Consistency matters more than perfection.

8. Focus on the main result, don’t obsess over milestones

With so much noise, it’s easy to fixate on arbitrary milestones. Instead, focus on the outcome that matters. If your goal is to earn from blogging, obsessing over follower counts on platforms that don’t drive revenue can be distracting.

Adjust your goals as you go and let go of metrics that don’t serve you. Keep an open mind for new opportunities and prioritize the result you want to achieve.

Recap

Open your mind to spot opportunities that could make you happier or more successful.
Know your why. Understand how this goal will change your life.
Let yourself do what feels easy and right for you — it won’t be underwhelming if it matters to you.
Ignore others’ expectations when they conflict with your purpose.
Consider how a choice will change you and what skills you’ll gain.
Take action and repeat it consistently.
If you need a break to stay consistent, take it.
Keep your main goal in focus and avoid obsessing over irrelevant numbers.

I shared a lot of my own story here, but I hope some of these ideas resonate. If anything helps you take that final step toward a decision you truly want — not one you feel obliged to make — then it was worth sharing.